A Hunk Of Junk Pt.2

So I'm pretty sure I'm falling apart......or dying or i have the plague or something. I like to exudate its what I'm good at, and its how i do. I took advantage of our oh so lovely FREE heath care in canadaland yesterday, and after 6 years of waiting and trying and calling and being pushy i finally got into see a specialist for ever so plaguing stomach problems which first they thought oh its just acid reflux, nope maybe its ulcers, nope maybe its an very very sexy inflamed infected esophagus but oh no you know what that dick wad said it was guess what? FUCKIN NOTHING. I'm pretty confident i have not been in sever pain everyday for the past oh i don't know 8 years for nothing. I DID NOT GET A STUPID CAMERA SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT AND GET PICKED WITH MORE NEEDLES THE A HEROIN ADDICT WHO WON THE LOTTERY FOR NOTHING. No sir its not nothing, so y'know ima get a second opinion and stuff. On other news my beloved Habs epicly failed on Saturday and kinda on Friday to. We lost oh man it pains me to say this but we lost to Toronto. i pretty much was all hey guys way to skate like a seizing paraplegic, good job, good job, fantastique. You guys fail. But wanna see an upside to the night. Its not a fight or anything its just a whole lot of angry sexy man. Little know fact about me i love me an angry sexy man especially if he's eastern European and hockey player and named baby Kostitsyn, or Sergei Kostitsyn, or SK-74 or sexy Sergei. He's what i would call a man of many names. Similar to a man of many faces but more fun to say cause i said so? any who you're lucky sons of bitches get to see what I'm talking about cause i found a VIDEO, Thanks YouTube. Just a little advice LISTEN TO THE ANNOUNCERS AND WATCH IT TILL THE END OR ELSE I'LL SEND BIG GEORGE LARAQUES AFTER YOU, unless you're out of his weight division then y'know he'll scout the room for someone who is in his weight division and send someone smaller then you to fight his battle, read Kostopoulos who is suspended for a "dirty check" on those pussy ass Toronto boys blah blah head hit blah blah broken hand blah blah concussion blah blah broken nose, what a pussy., OK that was mean. here's the video while i gather my composure and make a feeble attempt at being nice


ok so i made funkin sweet Montreal Canadiens hair bows cause well i love the habs i love hair bows, I'm a chick so its allowed bam. me attempting to be nice isn't working so well. Y'know what pisses me off a little while ago, I'd say about a moth ago i was at a Montreal Boston game and I'm real close I'm talking super close like i could smell the sweat close right, it was that beautiful game when Lucic and Komisarik almost made out it was hot but not really. anyways when you're that close you would probably take pictures too right? its not everyday us poor folk get 200$ hockey tickets now is it? well apparently you're not allowed to legitimately like hockey right? i obviously paid 200$ to look at hockey players right? WRONG ASSHOLES. i may love to look at hockey players but i didn't play for the tickets and i probably love hockey more then most chicks you know, I've loved hockey since i was a wee little one. hockey and i had a little falling out a short while ago but we made up, i can forgive and forget that hockey ditched me for a year. Anywho back to my story. Me+Victoria+Montreal- Boston Game+Cameras, Up to speed yes? OK good. So after the end of the 1st these asshole 40+ dudes turn to me and Victoria and are all hey do you girls even know the score, so not only is this dickwad accusing me of not like hockey but also making me out to be stupid, LIKE YOU CAN MISS THE SCOREBOARD, fuckin asshole. So i says to him i says Oh no wait i actually like hockey, do you think i would dish out this kinda money to look at mens, I'm not some desperate slob like some people?? And even lets say i hated hockey you fuckin cunt and i came here only to look at mens, would you not go to watch hot chicks play a hot sport? I'm very sure you would, yeah no I'm 100% sure and I'm pretty confident beach volleyball isnt a real sport. its onyl for dirty disgusting horny men to watch, men get a whole sport for that and i can't come to a game enjoy the game and the men playing it.Oh no that'd be a crime. so fuck off, K thanks. This entry has already gotten too long and all over the place without being too far all over the place and uhm sorry about so much hockey talk little miss Ellie, although we know Flannigan will like it. Ok I'm out

PEACE

NOT SURE WHY I SAID PEACE OK I'M DONE!

A Hunk Of Junk

So uhm i've decided i swear way too much in my blog, i need to tone it down a notch or take it down a notch, whatever sometimes i like to ruin saying and use way too many coma. it's who i am, its how i do. But for reals though i need to stop swear as much which is why im not going to go cold turkey cause really that'd end horribly but i'm going to limit myself to one sexy dirty word per sentence, i was going to go per paragraph but really who i am i kidding, baby steps right?? So i'm going to go ahead and get a little something out of my system and then i'll get back to this what will be promised to be the most all over the place blog entry of this month, SHIT, PISS, FUCK, CUNT, COCK SUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER,TITS,STUPID CUNT ASS BITCH, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. ok now that its out of my system and i got all semi George Carlin on your ass and i macked on his seven dirty words because really the might be my favorite especially cunt, i saw that alot, never actually referring to what a "cunt"is more so to people. My favorite part of England being able to say cunt and having no one gasp like i just ate their baby or something, im not the pope i don't eat babies or anything and he;; while we're talking about difference between me and the pope i don't join Hitler youth either so really im nothing like the pope. Ok so here is the deal i'm a hockey fanatic these days, I do live in Montreal so its very acceptable hell i'd even say its a requirement. I just wanna talk about last Saturdays game and how we lost but it was ok because seriously the ducks have a player who has the most epic moustachio EVER!!! like a move over Nick Cave there is a new moustachio in town, if you do not know Nick Caves moustachio click on his name, its magical ohhh wow. Seriously George Parros he wins at moustches and it gotten bigger and better and alot less sexy, but i have this weird over whelming urge to want to comb it and it makes me feel so dirty in the best way possible. ok dudes so im really tired and uhm i'm turning this entry into a two parter , oh how exciting you're favortie kid of entery one with a little suspense...............

Remeber That Time....

Remember that time that the habs played a game on Saturday and Kurt Sauer tried to kill Big Daddy Kostitsyn, who isn't really the Kostitsyn daddy but just big brother Kostitsyn and not in big brother is watching you kinda way in a meet my big brother kinda way. Remember when Sauer didn't even get in trouble for a dirty hit to the head. Good times really. That hit was totally legit, too legit to quit.......oh the sarcasm. I think next time someone gets in the way of something i want i might do that to them and see how legit it is really. That's a good idea instilling body checking into everyday life and especially in the work place. Although that'd require having ref's in the work place everyday. Which would probably be a bad idea since they barely do their jobs on the ice as it is really. OH BURN. i don't think burns count when you call them out yourself so scratch that idea, but not really. I know Christine is going to hate this blog so I'm going to insert a photo of Youppi for her blog reading pleasure OH LA LA LOOK AT HIS SEXY ORANGE FUR. Any who I'm in class right now again, which guess what i actually like it. who'd of thunk Lyndsey"drops out of school" Pichette would actually like school. That whole drops out of school bit isn't entirely true. i did finish high school and elementary school which is more then my father can say. That's was mean but whateves. So i vote everyone needs to watch worlds best shows that i started to watch on Friday night, well i finished watching them too but any who for serious a healthy dose of yo mama and sex talk are the bets things to watch on a Friday night.So my recess is over now, when i say that i feel like I'm in court which is bad ass unless you're the one being prosecuted then I'm sure it sucks.

S-S-S-School Bitches

So it's Friday afternoon right and im in class clearly working so fucking hard Eh?? yeah i said Eh yeah I'm Canadian you assholes and all of you are too, Lilly and Christine but not you Kristy. I'm sure you guys like getting personal shout outs in mah blog don't you?? i bet you do. I can pretty much do that because aside from my random french reader who I'm not sure even reads anymore you guys are my only readers and i blog for you assholes cause well you are pretty awesome duders, true story. I'm super multitasking right now, I'm making friends and blogging. Bet you wish you were that cool.

OLE.........BARF

Dear French Hockey fans and douche fags alike
This would be a memo for you.
Ole, Ole, Ole is not an acceptable hockey chant.
Do the Habs Play Soccer full time? Don't think so
SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING A FUCKIN ANNOYING SOCCER CHANT!!!
we've covered the fact that it isn't soccer, well are we all Italian? maybe some of us- but most french douche bags who can't differentiate between soccer and hockey apparently. So not soccer, not entirely Italian, Wait could be in Italy.......nope fuckin wrong again. It's quebec. There aren't half as many rude douche bags in Italy, plus is nice there. So i think we've covered it Ole not a hockey Chant.

ACCEPTABLE!!!!


UnAcceptable Douche Fags


So now you know the difference, well just incase you're still confused I'll show you when to chant Ole Ole Ole

ACCEPTABLE!!!

Oh Saturday

So this Saturday as many Saturdays before started off great really!! Hockey is on and I'm going to a show, nothing to alarm me really aside from the fact that i was going to a NOFX show blah blah blah.I leave the house take the metro all the way to my least favorite bar in town with Miss Lilly. so we get to the bar and low and behold we get carded, little known fact about me and Lilly we share the same name cause he real name *gasp* isn't Lilly. So whatever we show our cards to the bouncer, well i show my passport she shows her Medicare card and i guess he thinks we're fuckin dumb asses who share i.d but go in together, super smart right, any who we get in. We sit down to watch hockey and i look to see if i have my ticket and BAM no mother fucking ticket, left it at home. So we get back on to the metro and all the way back to my house to get my ticket. But hockey has started at this point and if you know me then you know I'm super Canadian in the way that i absolutely fuckin love hockey and hockey players!! shit yeah break me off a piece of that*drools*. Back on topic so we watch hockey until the end of the first period and then rush back to the bar, watch a little more hockey, meet out friends all is going great so far. We go to the upstairs of the bar where the bands shall be playing to see the band i was there for the Ripcordz , shit yeah. Band comes on stage, Band start playing, Band starts playing good song. Shitty ass NoFx fans don't move, Band tries to get fans into it, NofX fans FUCKIN FAIL. SERIOUSLY RIPCORDZ ARE THE OLDEST GREATEST MOST BESTEST PUNK BAND IN MONTREAL, I'LL EVEN SAY IN ALL OF CANADA. The NoFx douche bags barely move still. seriously fuck them. I've seen the Ripcordz play a ton of times to a ton of different crowds and never a reaction like this or should i say a non reaction. The band finishes I'm unimpressed because of the crowd blahhhhh. So whateves I'm chillin and illin with Lilly who for some reason wanted to stay for NoFx. So out come like 20 billion roadies, What the fuck who brings roadies to a shit ass nothing bar apparently fat mike and his band of oh so lovely people do. so the roadies fuckin do a 12 hour sound check sort of thing which is lame, the roadies have to make sure the guitars and bass are positioned perfectly on the amps and i had to stand in a room with way too many douche bags. If you've ever been to a NoFx show you know what I'm talking about when i shit talk their fans. So Nofx finally get on stage i last 10 minutes before i have to leave because i wanna vom for the grossness. OK so im a drama queen whateves. Upside the Montreal Canadians won their game 6-1. So that was the upside, plus the fuckin hot skinhead i saw at the bar while waiting for NoFx to finish their set. OK I'm done complaining. Thanks Christine and Kristy!!!!

DEAR CHRISTINE

DEAR CHRISTINE
THIS BLAWG IS FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT READS THIS.

READER OF THE MONTH

FACTS ABOUT CHRISTINE: SHE LOVES HER PUPPY CHARLIE, SHE ALSO LOVES YOUPPI , SHE WILL PEE ANYWHERE, SHE LOVES P.T CRUISES AND THE 40+ CREW. ONCE SHE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON A LEONARD COHEN TICKET. SHE ATTENDS SCHOOL AND IS STUDYING TO BE A HORSE. YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO KNOW THAT SHE LOVES BEER, LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH AND I DON'T KNOW.......UHM DRINKING PINA COLADAS AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN???? OH SHE REALLY LIKES CRASS.

WOOHOO CHRISTINE READER OF THE MONTH. YOU WIN, UHM SOMTHING. ACTUALLY I'M POOR SO YOU WIN YOUR OWN BLOG, FOR SERIOUS. MAYBE A RANDOM FRENCH PERSON WILL READ IT AGAIN AND BE ALL OH MY GOD THAT GIRL WITH HER FINGER IN HER NOSE IS SO COOL. ESPECIALLY AFTER HE READS THE RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU SECTION.