Sunday, October 17, 2010

Again Seriously

I give up
I swear its not even worth it
Why do I do this???
Every time I open my mouth about someone new in my life out of excitement they just disappear.
I fuckin quit
Men you are too complicated for me
and Women cry to much
A sexuality here I come........

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

500 Days of Lyndsey

So I am watching 500 days of Summer
I want that.
It just seems so uncomplicated at least for Summer.
I don't want a boyfriend. I can't handle relationship plus whats the point of them reallly?
To fall in love and get married?? To have companionship???
I don't believe in love.
I don't need a relationship for companionship.
I know it makes me seem like I a hypocrite for wanting all the perks of a relationship but none of the scary heartbreak and titles or officialness of a relationship.
Yes that means it will go nowhere
Yes I know someone will get hurt in the end
Yes I know that person might even be me.
I just cannot handle having my hopes lifted and then smashed to 12 billion pieces again, it really is just too much for me.
I wish I could control how i just put so much hope and faith into one person and just one little thing can ruin it.
I used to be a master of controlling my emotions, I blame Lilly for ruining this. I am not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing but alas it is a thing. I must learn to deal with it.
I should just ask her how to.
Being a chick sucks sometimes.
I refuse to use a legit paragraph
Now how do I express to him that I want this without scaring him away???

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Regrets? I have a few.

So its like week 2 in Hammer town.

I still hate it.....

I think it is possibly the worst idea I have ever had.
My mother tells me I will learn things from it other then the fact that I am going to school. So far I have learnt things I already know. I fucking hate people, I fucking hate living with people, I fucking hate living with people I do not know. I wish I would of moved into some dingy basement apartment alone, so I can live like the semi hermit that I am.

I have never had to force social skills more then I have been doing these past 2 weeks, fake laugh at everything ugh its so tiring pretending to like people.

I feel so old here.
Everyone in my classes is 18.
Also I have no idea how 95% of the people in my classes made it past kindergarten let alone to university. I am paying like 7,000 dollars to go to school I do not want to listen to you talk about your highlight, how drunk you got last night, how you are a slut who shouldn't of banged that guy or about the ever so old blackberry vs iphone debate. Seriously you are a drunken slut I don't care put a cock in your mouth and shut up.

My dog is annoying
I love her to pieces, which is funny because she sheds so much that pieces of her are with me everywhere I go.
She smells, not matter how often I bathe her, all she does is make me wanna eat corn chips.
I am fat enough I do not need that.

Cooking is the bane of my existence.
I hate it, I find it so tedious and not rewarding at all.
I though when something is that horrible it should have some kind of reward, yes cooking means eating which means not dying blah blah blah shut up.

I am done with this rant

Blog 1# from Hamilton, Happy Lilly???