Tuesday, February 19, 2008

101 Reasons Why I Rule Part 1

I've been reading Crackpot written by well worlds greatest human ever, The man, The Legend John Waters. In Crackpot John Waters had a list on 101 things he hates, Well its not really a list it a chapter and its not written in list form. It's written like a story which is amazing. As to not entirely rip off John Waters I'm going to make mine in the form of a list .So here it is a list of 101 things i hate. 101 reason why I'm bitter. 101 reason why I'm such a bad person. 101 reasons why I'm a bitch.101 reason why i rule...........Drum Roll Please

  1. Tom Cruise – Do I really need to explain
  2. High School kids – I have one word for you Obnoxious
  3. The Telephone – I don’t care about your day, or what you’re doing, or what your kids or dog or spouse or your plant is doing, so don’t call me to tell me. And leave all your other small talk bullshit for someone else.
  4. Heavy Breathers – This is creep don’t do it!!! You sound like a sex offender when you do this especially on the phone. So if you’re a heavy breather don’t call me
  5. Random Stoppers – those assholes who when your walking, walking, walking, la,la,la and then BAM the mofo stops out of nowhere right in the middle of the sidewalk or the mall to do something stupid that obviously couldn’t wait like talk to their friends they just “oh my god haven’t seen in so long” again like I give a shit.
  6. Ice- Hello bruised ass.
  7. Babydoll Shirts- Seriously is it your goal in life to look knocked up if your not? Because that’s all these shits do for you no matter how skinny you are.
  8. Underage Straight Edge Kid – Your underage asshole you pretty much legally have to be straight edge. You’re not cool. Being straight edge hasn’t been cool since Minor Threat did it……. And then still not that cool
  9. Perfume Abusers – Just like Advil when it comes to perfume one is often enough. I’m not talking bottles here we’re talking squirts people. No need to make my nose cry because you can’t shower like the rest of us.
  10. Sylvester Stallone – He thinks he’s more hardcore then Chuck Norris meets G.G Allin but really he’s less hardcore then Plastic Patrick meets the Backyardigans.
  11. Facebook Applications – Enough said really
  12. Taxi Drivers – They drive like maniacs, and are really creepy.
  13. CSI: Miami - It’s always on TV and it’s a shitty unrealistic show. And fucking David Caruso stupid lines fuck that noise.
  14. Catcher in The Rye – Over rated, Over analyzed & over hyped !!! Fuck you Holden you’re a Phony.!!!
  15. Toilet Paper Placement – When the toilet paper is over it really irks me.

2 comments:

ALEX said...

this kicks ass

Kristy said...

i just got all gay and LOLed for real reals like 3 times.

i'm officially lurkin yo blog ninja.

i miss you badlike.