Thursday, March 6, 2008

101 Reasons Why I Rule Parts 3&4

Heres a double feature for you. Two for the price of one. A double whammy. Ladies and gentlemen please gather here.

31. Chewing With Your Mouth Open- Learn some manner. If you’ve just eaten sea food I don’t want to see it as a sea food medley. Keep your foods in your mouth fool.

32. Wolf Memorabilia- Your a snappy dresser with your wolf shirt. Your wolf statue Good Golly Miss Molly that makes you cool. And the wolf tattoo JESUSSSS women must jump you.

33. Dora – Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!! Fuck you Dora and boots. I will fight you and steal your soul.

34. Diego- go bone Dora.

35. Pink Obsession- OMG I like love pink. Like everything I own has to like be pink. I like pink so much I only shop at the store pink, And I only listen to like Pink. She’s like so cool. Seriously your not 5 years old anymore. Pink should not be the biggest thing in your life and your not a fucking princess.

36. Paris Hilton- Your rich leave the world alone keep your twat to yourself and your sex tapes, and your perfume, and your singing, and your acting. PLEASE!!!!

37. Anorexic Bitches- Eats a Sandwich

38. Bros – I'm talking about those uber "Italian" bros. They can all smoke a poll.

39. Hoes – Keep in your pants lady. No need to put out for everyone and their grandpa.

40. Squirrels- They are vicious and I have the scars to prove it. Makes coats out of them. They’re not as cute as they seem. Damn you Westmont park.

41. A&E Today- What happened to you a&e? We used to be friends. You had such hits as City Confidential, Cold Case Files, American Justice, and Serial Killer Biographies. WHAT HAPPENED????? Now you have such crap as CSI: Miami, Gene Simmons family jewels, Intervention, The Two Coreys, and many other lovely gems.

42. Velvet- I’m not a Vegas show star nor is this the 90’s and I’m not a fucking wizard, so really why wear velvet. I refuse to wear velvet. Black Velvet? Blue Velvet? NEVER

43. WWE- I can’t wrap my head around wrestling. Atleast not WWE wrestling. It seems so homo erotic to me. Especially since they try and make it seem so manly. Sweaty men in spandex getting a little too close…….i don’t know.

44. Church Smell- It creeps me out. Smells like death, deception with a little dash of molestation.

45. Ceramic Knick-Knacks- These are reserved for old ladies only. But not the super cool 8 husbands old ladies or the cat ladies. Just boring ass old ladies. They’re pointless dust collectors.


47. Obsessively Green People – I know we should all do our part to save the world blah blah blah. I’ve known this forever. So get out of my face biatch, before I knock your teeth out. K Thank?

48. Popsicle Sticks- Seriously the thought of someone biting a Popsicle stick grosses me out so much. I get grossed out anything I think about it. I know its not as bad as I think it is but it still grosses me out to the high length you can possible imagine.

49. Spaghetti Sauce When Sick- Spaghetti sauce commercials when I’m sick are the second most gross thing to me I can’t deal with that makes me want to vom my face off.

50. French Music- I know I should more exceptive of French culture living in Quebec and all. But I can’t. I don’t understand what they’re saying , For all I know they could be all “Hey ,Hey Kill The English Man, That’s What I Say” and I’m obviously not down with killing the English man or woman.

51. Lobster Eaters- Fish are friends not food duders. Cows on the other hand totally not friends neither are chickens.

52. Sock and Sandals- If its cold enough for socks you should not be wearing sandals. I actually just hate sandals. Especially for dudes. It’s so disgusting to me.

53. Sun- Me and Mister Sun we’re not so much best buds. The sun kind of hates my guts. I get sun burns like its nobodies business.

54. Crocs- SO UGLY!!!!!

55. White Pants- I have no legit reason for hating white pants . Except for the fact that they are white pants. They are ugly, get dirty so fast and are gross. Are you a Droog? I’m pretty sure your not , so uhm lose the white pants.

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